Empathize With Your Aging Parents
Why to empathize with your aging parents, and why you should try. Time plays tricks on us: read this post for some shocking examples. Soon enough, YOU will be the annoying old geezer.
Time is a tricky thing, and you are not aware of it, yet. There are many weird things about time that we learn as we go. Here are a few examples:
• Every child is afraid of becoming an orphan. No one warned us that eventually, we all become orphans.
• Did you know that you’re likely to become older than your Mom or Dad? Mind-boggling, isn’t it? When people die, they stay the age at which they passed, we go on getting older.
• Once you lose your irritating old people, their clock stops, but yours doesn’t. As you live longer, you learn and understand more. I’m speaking from experience, I kick myself almost daily for my arrogance and unintentional disrespect toward my Mother.
• Have you ever thought that once your parents pass on, you will never again be anyone’s “baby” or be loved unconditionally? (Yes, parents are also record-keepers who tend to remind you of your embarrassing moments and failings. That’s a small price to pay for unconditional love….)
Younger people can’t relate to the concerns of older people. Take a look at the picture below:
How would you feel if THIS were happening to you?! On the inside, you are just as you are, right now: young, energetic, and full of life. But the outside – which served you well all your life – is suddenly falling apart. You’d feel hurt, outraged, and offended, wouldn’t you?
Meanwhile, the people you count on for empathy and support are speaking behind your back, telling others how incapable you’re becoming…
It would be absolutely awful, wouldn’t it? It already is for your aging parents. They are wondering how they failed you. How did you become so heartless?….
Younger people often find their aging parents or their demands ludicrous. WARNING: they may NOT be. Try harder to understand and relate! (Today, your old people are dealing with problems you’ll be dealing with a few decades from now. Show them love, patience, and strain yourself to understand them.)
Be tolerant, sensitive, and empathetic, not critical or annoyed. Take my word for it, the time will come when you’ll actually understand everything they said, and you’ll feel absolutely horrible about yourself!
We are way too fast in assuming that all old people are affected by dementia. (Repeating the same story 100 times may or may not be a symptom of dementia. It may be the need to evoke a memory and relive it.)
Older people may have a shorter temper and take shortcuts when they speak. The issue isn’t that they are nasty but that they know better and wonder why we are so slow catching up with them, their needs, requests, and yes, wisdom.
By being dismissive and critical, we are missing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn what things they find helpful to them now, which will likely be helpful to us tomorrow.
You may have long-standing conflicts with a parent or grandparent. Forget it, make up, and move on. I promise you, the time will come when you’ll regret not taking action now.
Record audios and videos! It’s too late for me, but there is an emerging technology today by which the voice, thoughts and memories of a person can be uploaded onto a cloud.
If and when such a technology comes into popular use, YOU – thanks to AI – may have the incredible privilege of turning for real-time advice to your mother who died 20 years earlier…. You’ll be able to speak with her in real-time: see her and get her input in her own voice! What a gift it would be to me now!!!
We don’t fully understand or appreciate the value of time. We waste most of it on people and pursuits that aren’t worthy of it. When time becomes precious, value it! Whether it’s your time, your old people’s time, or your time with your aging parents. Empathize with your aging parents, now. Time is one of the very few things we can’t get back!
